The Portal of Admiration & Loyalty: The True Cost

We all crave admiration. Few of us are willing to admit just how much. And fewer still are willing to see how quickly we’ll sacrifice honesty when telling the truth feels like it might cost us that admiration.

Admiration is one of the highest forms of currency in our world. We trade for it constantly. And when the price is our authenticity, we often pay without hesitation—sometimes without even noticing. Yet the cost is real: every act of inauthenticity chips away at our wholeness and completeness.

The same is true of loyalty. We praise it as a virtue, but often “being loyal” is simply a mask for our fear of losing admiration. We act loyal not because it is right, but because it looks good. And in doing so, we compromise our authenticity to preserve appearances.

In truth, we sell our authenticity to be admired, to be seen as loyal colleagues, managers, friends. Most of us carry a deep need to look good. Few of us are willing to confront just how much it drives us—so much so that we’ll agree to things we don’t truly believe. Ironically, looking good doesn’t look good. The mere threat of looking bad keeps us from even the possibility of being authentic.

The way out is courage. Courage to be authentic.

Inauthenticity drains the power required for true leadership. Authenticity, by contrast, grounds us. It aligns how we present ourselves to others with how we hold ourselves to ourselves. It allows us to speak plainly, without manipulation or force.

Leadership begins—and ends—with authenticity.